When You Don't Get to Know Why

There are many times in life that you will not get to know why.

Why did they have to get sick?
Why did they leave me?
Why did I say that?
Why did I leave them?
Why am I sick?
Why can't I have the job that I've worked hard for?
Why did they lie about me?
Why won't they stay?
Why can't they stop?
Why did they stop loving me?
Why won't they work for this?
Why? Why? WHY?

One of the constants in life is that we often do not get to know the why. Especially when it concerns other people in our lives. I would rather have the answers to the "why's" of life than worry with the "what if's." Questioning is part of human nature; we are detail oriented and want to know everything that has happened to us and everything heading toward us. We want the details not so that we can be aware, but rather so that we can be in control. We want to take care of ourselves, control our future, and lead our lives.

There are some things that we do not get to control. We do not get to control why people we love get sick and die. We do not get to control why people who say they will always be there and care for us stop loving us and leave us broken. We do not get to control what people say or think about us. We do not get to control very much. That which we do control, our human response to our surroundings and experiences, is rather limited.

Some "Why's?" may get answered through life experiences or people explaining their reasons. While others will be left to either fester like an infected wound or gather dust as they eventually lay forgotten in the corner of the closet. Most often, though, the "why's" will not be answered. I do not mean this to be a negative post in any way; I am just trying to be real, open, and vulnerable.

Honestly, knowing the "why" does not ever change the situation. For the most part, if we were to know the "why," it would reopen the wound or even create a deeper wound.  In the rare cases where, after time, you are provided with the "why," it does allow for closure or healing in some circumstances. However, change comes through moving forward and asking ourselves, "what now?" "Now that I am here, what now? What are my next steps?" These questions are not just questions for ourselves, but are for us to ask God. Instead of asking "But, why?" over and over again like a three-year-old prolonging a conversation, we need to start asking, "What now, God?" or "Now that I'm here, what do You have for me next? To where do I turn? What do I do?" Finding an answer to the "what's" of life are more substantial and can be the catalyst for change in your life.

God is ever faithful, even when I consistently bother him with the "why's" I have, to remind me of this scripture:

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."

Isaiah 43:18-19

The best thing that we can do in life is to keep moving forward without hanging onto all the unanswered "why's." Those unanswered "why's" can lead to bitterness, anger, isolation, and fear. We are not made to live in those things. Rather, we are made to live in the fullness of this life, enjoying it hand-in-hand with God.

So no matter what "why" you are facing right now. Stop asking "why" and starting figuring out the "what now" through seeking God. Do not dwell on the "why" you don't know or the apology you were never given. Instead, recognize that God is trying to do a new thing in you, in your heart, and in your life. But, YOU have to move on from the "why" to find the way through the wilderness to the wonderful that is yet to come.

Learn to live, to love, and to trust your heart again.