When I was growing up there was one word that we were not allowed to use. Okay, there were many words that we were not allowed to use; the most inappropriate word I used as a child was "shoot" and oh my goodness did I get in trouble, but that, my friends, is a story for another post. The word that we were not allowed to use was hate. This is because using the word hate meant that we loathed something or someone to the point that we wished it gone from the earth entirely. My father taught me that there is nothing or no one so bad that we should hate it or them. I agree with this sentiment, however, in the light of full disclosure there are some confessions I need to make of things that I do hate.
I hate spiders.
I hate lies.
I hate betrayal.
But mostly, I hate running. I know, I know, that was somewhat anticlimactic. Let me clear the air a bit since there are many who probably cannot even begin to understand how running outranks lies and betrayal. This is because lies and betrayal come from others and when people lie to you or betray you it is because they are operating out of hurt and pain. I am not saying their actions are justified because they are not, but I am saying that hurting people hurt people and unfortunately this world and our lives are full of hurting people.
I hate running. This insane thing here is that if you asked me what is one thing I do almost every day for exercise, I would answer with running. It is okay - you can shake your head. I understand; it makes no sense at all. I run and yet I hate running. For me, running is that thing through which I can slough off the day and all its parts that I do not need to carry around. When emotions get involved or when it has been a truly terrific or absolutely terrible day, it shows up in my running through either the length of time or the tenacity with which I drive my feet into the ground much to my chagrin the next day. I run to release.
In reality, this running to release and running to exercise is not actually the running I hate. The running that I hate is when we run from God. This takes form in choosing our will over His or when in our pain and sorrow following a difficult circumstance we run from His sight and presence. Or, at least, we think we run from Him. The amazing thing is that there is no distance that we can run wherein we can outrun Him or be removed from His sight. His love and presence engulfs us in our running just as it does when we sit before Him. It is not because of anything we have done or because we are anything special in the sight of the world. It is simply because there is no place we can go that His love doesn't stretch out to us to return to him. The thing that we fail to realize in our running is that even as we are running away, God is before us setting out a course that we can choose that will bring us right back into His arms, into His presence, and into the knowledge and rooting that we are loved by Him who created us.
So my question is this, why then do we still choose to run? It is time to stop running from God because of the pain of the past, the problems of the present, or the worry of the future. It is time to turn in the running shoes and trust the path that God has for us. It is time for us to return and give up running and choose instead to remain.
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