Tranquility

Tranquility

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

I will not settle.

I still pray for you because my Father has called me to be obedient to that.
I still think of you for the laughs and fun we shared.
I still wonder about the future that you promised, but ultimately couldn't deliver or wouldn't deliver. At times, I wonder if I will ever know why or will ever be able to move forward from that.
I wonder if I will ever be able to trust another man with my heart or if I am destined to live this life apart from those desires of my heart.

I trust my Abba; I will not settle.
I know who I am and to whom I belong.
I know whose daughter I am.
I will not settle.

I know how to love.
I know how to do battle with the one who chooses me against the wars waged by the world.
I will not fight for that space in your life when you are not choosing me.
I will not hold onto hope forever, wondering if you will ever choose me.

I will live.
I will rebuild.
I will dream and go after those dreams.

I will be a part of something larger than myself - I will be a part of their stories.

I will be available to be used by GOD in whatever manner he sees fit.
I will trust in Him.

Friday, December 9, 2016

When

So there is this question that I seem to face rather often, it is both simple and complex.


When?


That's it and yet it is so loaded because inevitably the when is followed with another phrase.


When? When are you going to get married?
When? When are you going to buy a house?
When? When are you going to settle down?
When?  When are you going to realize this is all you will ever have?
When? When will you see that it doesn't matter?
...and so much more


So many when's. All of these when questions all come down to one main question, "When are you going to live up to our expectations for your life?" I am so glad that I do not live for the validation of others in my life because all too often for many family members and friends, I do not live up to their expectation because I am single and I do not have children. I do, however, live with the constant affirmation, approval, and love of my Father.


I may not live in the place where some people think I should or be at the expected "right" stage of life, but I am living in the very center of God's will for my life. Living life in that manner is better than living up to anyone else's expectations for my life. I do have the expectation of one day meeting the man of God who will be my forever person and building a life and family with them, however, I am patient enough (through the grace of God) to wait for him. I will not rush into it simply to be at the "right" stage of life as decided by other people.


There is more to be done in this season. I trust that this season will last as long as it is intended to and not one moment longer. God is faithful in his promises to us. Period. So, I will do what I can in this season to draw ever more intimate with Him and be available to His leading at ALL times. This season of singleness has allowed me to drop everything to come to the aide of family, friends, students, and strangers in situations that would have been even more difficult if I was also balancing a family and husband. I am more than my relationship status. I am more than the type of building I live in. I am more than the positions and jobs that I hold. I am a daughter of the MOST HIGH GOD and am about My Father's Business. I am known. Beloved. Called.


...and so are you.