The Story Scars Tell

If I were to say the word dots what would you think of?

To a nurse, there might be a quick flash of images of measles, chicken pox, or some other rash-like nastiness. To an artist, the thought would stray to pointillism wherein a series of what looks like dots up close, in reality when viewed from the correct perspective is a beautiful picture or masterpiece. To a fighter, it could be the dots in their vision after an upsetting loss by knockout. To a parent, it could be the fingerprints that seem to be everywhere just after cleaning up. To a car aficionado, it is the spots of bird feces that find the windshield just after a fresh wash and wax. To a teacher, there are thousands of things it could be from periods forgotten at the ends of sentences to marker marks on children's faces and so much more.

When I think of the word dots, the only image or thought I have is scars. I believe that every scar tells a story; some of these stories are of tragic wounds, others of courage and bravery, some of victories and triumphs, and still others of heartache, brokenness, or loss. Scars are important, not to take us back to the things we encountered that could have destroyed, broken, or ruined us, but to remind us from where we have come and to give us hope for the future yet in front of us.

I have scars that can be seen, others that can be hidden if I so choose, and still others that are invisible to the eye. I am not the only one; we all carry scars. Every now and again my scars will ache and I am immediately transported back to a moment in time, a memory, a laugh, a conversation, a smile, a tear, heartache, or joy. There are scars from relationships, friendships, grief, loss, courageous moments where I stood up for others, injuries sustained, and in one instance the hope and promise of new life. Now the new life that I speak of in this instance is not the life that I have received in Jesus, or the promise of new life given through bearing a child. In this instance, the scars I have that are from the promise of new life are scars that I bear proudly because they were for my Dad.

My Dad.

He was courageous. He was brave. He was both a man's man and a sensitive man of compassion and hope for others. He was a man who unashamedly loved his wife and truly would shout it from the mountaintops for ALL to hear and whisper it in her ear with his words dripping with the magnitude of his love. He was a man who sacrificed his time, sleep, and so much more for his children and family. He was not perfect and would openly talk of his flaws, but lived with in the knowledge that he was a good man with a good heart and a life that was better than anything he could have created or imagined for himself. My Dad had non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. One of the later courses of treatments he encountered was the need for a bone marrow transplant. As such, his siblings, myself, and my siblings were tested to see who was the best match. After a series of events, I was chosen to be the bone marrow donor as I was a full match to my Daddy. I am not going to go into the intricacies of how they pull the bone marrow or the length of time the surgery took; it is too much information and would warrant a separate post. I will tell you that across my lower back I have seven dots. These dots are the entry points for the surgery that removed the bone marrow that was then given to my father that began a work in him. A few months after the transplant, my father ended up receiving the ultimate healing in that he went home to the home we were created for, heaven.

But, the dots remain.

These dots, these scars were the promise of new life in and for my Dad. The promise of healing and cancer defeated and a life yet to be lived. My dad taught me this lesson throughout my life and in his death, we are not finished when we are defeated, we are finished when we quit. My Dad never quit and I will never quit. I will never quit feeling my scars. I will never quit loving people whether they love me or have wronged me.  I wear these dots, these scars; most of the time they are hidden - not to keep them a secret, but because I seek modesty and they are on my lower back after all.

When these scars ache I think of my Dad - the good times, the hard times, the lessons learned, and the love given. These scars have marked me in a physical way that will never fully disappear. I relish in these scars because they were an opportunity to give to someone everything I had in a way that could never be repaid, pure love - a love that requires nothing in return.

In the same way, there are scars that you and I, as well as people past and future, have caused and are yet freed by. Those scars lay upon Jesus Christ and provide the promise and truth of new life. That new life is found in Him and is not limited by our short time on this Earth, but rather is eternal, forever, and unbound by time. Those scars are a physical representation of the sacrifice He bore to ensure that we did not have to pay the punishment for our mistakes, our choices, our sin. Rather, through Him, we are able to experience and live out salvation, forgiveness, mercy, grace, and love. He loves you. It doesn't matter if you return it. It doesn't matter if you think you don't deserve it. It doesn't matter how poorly you see yourself. It doesn't matter how far you've fallen or how dirty you have become. He loves you. That is not going to change. He loves you.

Just in case you need to hear it one more time, HE LOVES YOU!

That is the story scars tell.

Fairy Tale Syndrome

Growing up, there were many things that my family did together. We went for hikes and walks, played basketball on the gravel driveway, watched movies, and read together, just to name a few. One of my favorite events in the evening took place just before bed, the reading of stories.

I love books and reading; I actually kind of have a problem with books. Between my classroom library and my personal collection, I have too many, enough in fact that I should probably just start my own library. Books fascinate me, not in the escape from reality way, but rather learning from someone else's story. Everything we encounter has the power to change us, if we allow it.  Every single story matters.

When I was a child, my parents read to me every evening. For that, bed time was one of my favorite parts of the day. Not only did I have my parents attention, but we were immersed in a story together. The selections were vast, from animals to pirates to classic children's books to fairy tales.  This is a tradition that I hope to one day continue with my own family.

I loved all the stories; I hungered for books in the way that someone who is starving hungers for a simple crumb. Some of the stories read were fairy tales. Fairy tales have similar plots. It begins with a main character who is genuine and compassionate going about every day life. Then, they randomly encounter a handsome stranger. Next, they have an encounter with a villain who challenges everything and puts the main character into an impossible situation. Then the main character is rescued by the stranger who turns out to be a prince. The villain is vanquished and the prince and the main character live happily ever after.

Oh the power of those three words, happily ever after. They instill hope and delight in the mind of a small child. But, what happens when a generation of young children grow up believing that they are to be rescued out of their situations by a handsome stranger riding in on a white horse, only then to be swept off their feet and live happily ever after? Now understand, I believe in the power of fairy tales in that they show children that they can be brave and do more than they ever believed possible.

But, somewhere, some lines got crossed and little girls everywhere became young women and adults who are stuck with Fairy Tale Syndrome. Look, believe in love and love at first sight. But, also know that love, real love, agape love, takes work and selflessness. Life is not the perfection of a simple fairy tale; there are real struggles and real issues.

Young women - you do not need to wait on Prince Charming for rescuing. Instead you need to RUN to the KING, your heavenly father. The struggles or circumstances you face are refining you for your future. The victories and triumphs you are experiencing are to be shared with others to encourage them. Run hard for God and His plan for your life and at some point along the way, Princess, the Prince that GOD has for you will appear. However, it will not be to rescue you, but to run alongside you that you may both run hard toward God and His perfect plan for your life.  This does not mean that you can keep looking over your shoulder or to the right and left saying, "God is that him? Or what about him? Or that guy over there?"

Stop.

Focus on God. Trust in God. Let go of trying to write the story and realize that God has it and is waiting on you to just start running to Him and He is going to turn the page and either continue the chapter in which you find yourself or begin another.

Safe on Shore or Brave the Deep

Every Saturday morning for the last few weeks, I have woken up early and driven forty-five minutes to one of my favorite places, Assateague Island. Once there, I stand in awe as I watch the sun rise over the Atlantic Ocean. It is different every time; it is majestic every time. The last few times I have gone, it has been below thirty degrees plus the wind coming off the ocean. It can be brutally cold and some of my friends have asked, "Why do you do this? You drive all that way to see the sunrise then get back in your truck and drive home. It makes no sense. Why?"

What they fail to see is that the purpose of these trips to see the sunrise at Assateague is to stand in awe of the majesty of God.  In addition, it is about getting away from normal life to a place where I can be alone and separate myself to be immersed in the presence of God. On these mornings, I sit and read, journal, worship, walk the shoreline, and stare in wonder at the glorious creation that surrounds. It is at the same time overwhelming and centering; it brings both peace and passion.

This past Saturday, I was walking the shoreline and stopped to stare out at the ocean and as far as I could see East, the ocean stretched out. Now, next to me on the shoreline the water was shallow, freezing, but shallow. However, if I were to venture out into the water in a vessel, the further from shore I went, the deeper the water would become. These thoughts inundated my mind as I realized that in learning to trust God fully, we have the choice to stand on the shore or press out into the deep.

Now pressing out into the deep will cost us some things. It will cost us hopes and dreams that we will have to surrender to God's will. It will cost us our pride and our strength.  It will cost us to let go of the fear which so easily grips us because of the uncertainty of the next steps and grab hold of God alone.

It is easy to say and to think that we trust God when we are standing safely on the shore. This is because standing on the sand, while not as firm as concrete, is still something that we are used to standing on. Standing on the shore, we speak trust and belief in God and this is good. But, at some point we are going to have to get into the water and push out into the deep. If we are to do that which God has planned and envisioned for our lives, then we must take courage and move. Pushing out into the deep requires trust and it will build trust within you as only times of hardship or difficulty can. It is only in trying times, difficult circumstances, or through heartbreak that total trust in and reliance on God can be formed.

I am still learning what it means to truly trust God in every single situation, especially when His will for my life doesn't line up with what I thought was coming next. The bottom line is that to trust God is to brave the deep, knowing that He will take care of every moment past, present, and future, and living in that knowledge and love.

Are you just existing?

In the hustle and bustle of busy adulthood it is easy to look up from life and find that you've aged years and that a chunk of your life has gone by. In today's society, people are encouraged to keep running from place to place, trend to trend, event to event, and so on. This leads to lives that are fast-paced and busy. However, rather than lives well-lived and lived deeply, the majority of people just exist in their life. It is as if they are placeholders in their own story waiting for the day that they can chase after their dreams and goals, but until that day comes just existing in the revolving door that is the daily routine of life.

The time has come to stop existing. You were created for more than simply existing. You were created for more than a basic life of busyness. Rather than trying to exist in a life full of events, you needs to live a full life. This means to take courage and chase after your dreams now. This also means that it is time to get dirty and do the work that prepares you in your current place for your next place.

Existing has bred a mentality of shallow living in the hearts, minds, and souls of people. Wherein people live and move on the surface only and disregard real depth. You were made for the depths. You were created to feel and feel deeply. You were created to care for others deeply, for your heart to break for people even when your own heart has been played, cheated, hurt, broken, betrayed, or destroyed. Do not become callous and begin to simply exist through your life. Choose to live deeply even in pain or sorrow. It is in deep living that you become capable of truly doing life with the people around you.

Whatever you do, do it deeply and with all that is in you.
If it is grieving, grieve deeply.
If it is loving, love deeply.
You must feel and you must venture into the depths and be transparent with those around you. This is not to say that you should live in a constant state of sorrow or defeat if that is what you are feeling. Rather, the point of this thought is that living, really living requires depth, passion, courage, trust, and faith.

So stop existing and start living.

My Very Center

Life-giver.
World-changer.
Hope-bearer.
Healer.
Love.

These are only some of the words that apply to Him who is my very center, Jesus. I think of a life without Him and am washed over by despair and pain; my heart breaks for those who have yet to know him or who once knew him but have turned away. I think of the darkest and most difficult days of my life and the choices I had to make in those moments; choices to cling to Jesus in hope and hold out for better days to come.

Life comes with its share of triumphs and trials, people who seek to love and provide hope and people who seek to tear down and destroy, and both hurt and healing. I am so glad that Jesus is a life-giver, literally. He gave His life so that all would have the opportunity to encounter and engage with God despite our wickedness or sinful ways. He gave His life so that the world could be changed, so that all would have the opportunity to know God fully and know that they are known by Him.  He gave His life to bring hope to a world filled with despair.

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends" (John 15:13).

 

There are so many significant realizations that can be drawn from that one verse.

 

(1) There is no greater display of love than that which Jesus did by giving away His life in exchange of our own.

 

(2) We are called His friends - the magnitude of that statement has the potential to overwhelm.

(3) Having true love for the people in our lives requires selflessness and sacrifice.


There is this idea floating around Christian circles that salvation is a "free gift." However, nothing could be more incorrect; there is nothing free about the gift we have been given in salvation. Salvation required rejection, demoralization, torture, and ultimately death. A death that was given by Jesus Christ. Now, the story of salvation doesn't end in death because Jesus beats death, was resurrected on the third day, and is ALIVE.  The gift of salvation had a cost and it was a cost that was willing to be paid by Jesus because of the depth, width, breadth, and height of the perfect and unconditional love He has for each of us. A love that would require Jesus to sacrifice his life.

What would it look like if we responded to the lives around us with such a love. A love that knows no borders or boundaries. A love that requires no payment or purchase. A love that requires to likes or favorites on social media posts. A love that is founded in the selflessness of caring about someone more than we care for ourselves. A love that is centered in Jesus Christ. A love that fights for the heart of the people we love even if they are no longer fighting for our hearts. A love that brings us to our knees until our knees are tattered, torn, and shredded from the weight of the prayers that have been laid down. A love that can transform the world one heart at a time.

Oh, to love like that...

Captive

2 Corinthians 10:5 says, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every though to make it obedient to Christ."

If only we would actually begin to live out the promises that are found within this scripture. The knowledge of God is infinite and greater than all we could ever hope to understand. The knowledge of God contains grace, mercy, forgiveness, hope, faith, and love. Therefore, the arguments and pretensions that become set against those things are selfishness, doubt, fear, bitterness, anger, strife, and pride. When we find ourselves in the midst of a brawl against those negative and hurtful parts of life, we must remember that those things are set in direct opposition of the truth and hope of God.

We have the power, through Jesus Christ, to destroy, obliterate, and tear down anything that does not line up with the promises of God or the truths of God. We must begin to speak out against these arguments and pretension through journaling and actually vocalizing the words. There is nothing formed against us that shall prosper when we are in Christ. Thus, we must begin to remove the things that hinder us, weigh us down, and tell us that there is no hope to be had left.

The second portion of verse 5 talks to taking captive every thought. To take captive is to keep something within bounds, to remove its power or freedom. Our thought life has the power to restore us or destroy us, but the choice is up to us. When we listen to the lies of the enemy, the doubts of others, or the fears that plague us, we feed into our own destruction. Just as, when we mediate on the Word of God, listen to the promises spoken over our lives, or speak hope into our circumstances, we root ourselves in encouraging thoughts that fill us with life.  When we take every thought captive, we are choosing to be intentional in what words we allow to affect our lives, our dispositions, our circumstances, our present, and our future. To take every though captive, is to remove the power of the words themselves until we reconcile them to the word, way, and plan of God for our lives.

We cannot simply stop at taking each thought captive though, we must then make it obedient to Christ; this is the part that is most often forgotten. To make it obedient to Christ is to take the thought and ask if it is something that is intending to harm, destroy, root, or encourage. If the thought or words are to harm or destroy, then we must in turn tear apart those words and tear out the root cause or promoter of those words. If the thought or words proffer hope, faith, love, and life, then when we compare them to Christ, they align and we must then take in those words to be filled with grace, compassion, faith, and love.

So, today, as you go forward in each and every step that you take, I pray that you would know that the thoughts that are coming against you that are seeded in doubt, loneliness, despair, worthlessness, fear, or shame are not FOR you, they are to destroy you, and come from the mouth of the enemy. I pray that you would not entertain those thoughts, but instead, that you would speak out against them in the Power and Name of Jesus Christ.


Know today that you are prayed for, that you are cared for, and that you are loved - you will always be loved. 

Trusting

Trust seems to be a common issue in society today. Perhaps it is due to the fast pace with which we live our lives, moving from one place to the next without taking time to breathe, let alone enjoy the moment. In the world of social media where we are constantly surrounded with other people's highlight reels of their lives while at the same time being critically aware of our background story, it can be difficult to know who people really are. Then, if you through past difficulties, circumstances, or wounds, trust can seem like an impossible trait to possess and believe of others.

Trust it crucial to living life. We have to trust those that we do life with, whether family, friends, significant others, or new acquantainces. We have to trust even further beyond that to the plan and will of God. The trust we have in God goes beyond our circumstances, feelings, doubts, plans, and fears. God is unchanging and timeless. He has a hope for our future that is good, although it will not always be easy or fun, it will be good.

Trust is not just something we can say we possess. Rather, trust is a living and active thing that we must choose over and over again. We cannot live fully or openly without trusting. Yes, when we trust we open ourselves up to the chance of being wounded, but we also open ourselves to the opportunity to be encouraged, loved, and changed along this journey called life.

It is amazing to think of the simultaneous depth and lack of depth of trust we posess as humans. We fail to trust people because of our pasts or fear for our futures or the what if's of tomorrow. Yet, when we take a step forward, we trust that our feet will hold our weight. We trust that the ground will still be there to meet our feet. We trust that the earth's gravity is going to continue to hold us down. We trust in these great big ways, and yet we struggle to trust in the people around us and in the plans our Heavenly Father has for us because of who we once were or the things we once did.

Today, make the choice to trust. Trust God with your life, your plans, your yesterdays, todays, and tomorrows. Trust the people around you, love them, and let them in. Just choose to trust; it may not always be easy, but it will always be better.