19 Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.
But for Adam[f] no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs[g] and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib[h] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
23 The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.”
(Genesis 2:18-23)
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.”
(Genesis 2:18-23)
Being single is often difficult. People who truly are trying to be uplifting or kind can say some of the most unfortunate things. Phrases like:
"I don't understand how you are single."
"So, you don't ever want to be married or have children?"
"No one's perfect, just pick one and settle down."
"You're getting older, you just need to settle."
"You are single because God is still working on making a man good enough."
"I know this guy..."
"You are too strong. Most guys won't like that. Can't you just be less..."
"You are too strong. Most guys won't like that. Can't you just be less..."
and my personal favorite...not...
"You know, it will happen when you least expect it."
As I said, these people often are not trying to be rude or ridiculous. They just have no concept of what it really is to be single for any consistent length of time as an adult. Nor do most in today's society understand that just dating anybody in order to be dating somebody is unhealthy. Just as it is unhealthy, it is just not my style.
I am aware that I am not for just anybody. Please do not misunderstand me, I am not saying I am any better or worse than anyone else on the planet; all I am saying is that I am not created for just anybody or everybody to have access to. Yes, that can be isolating. Yes, it is often lonely. But, I am happy and I am a work in progress. I am not looking for some man to complete my life; my life is complete in Jesus.
I am preparing myself for a life with the man who complements me and whom I complement. I am not talking about compliments or flattery here. I am talking about the deep intimacy of two people who are formed for each other mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I am waiting for the man whose missing rib I carry. I believe that in the same way that God purposed Eve and Adam for each other, that He has purposed me for someone and him for me.
It is not easy to wait on God and His timing. No way! It is ridiculously difficult at the best of times. I have fallen prey to distractions and disappointments. I have tried to search out the man to whom this rib belongs and ended with my heart shattered on the ground. Searching him out is not how this works. The only one I am meant to search out is my God. I am after my Father's heart and my Father's business. The man that God has for me will be about the same. I know that one day, out of no where that I can see or understand, the man for whom I am for will be standing beside me. He will reach for my hand because my Father will have said to him, "Her. Yep, her. That's her!" As I let him take my hand, I will hear my Father say to me, "Do you see now why you had to wait? Him. This is him."
Some will say that I am unrealistic and that I should troll the dating sites and hangout in crazy places to "find the guy." Sure, those things can work and do work for some people. But, as for me, I will trust God's timing and placement. I will continue to work diligently with all that God has entrusted to me. I will continue to pour into a generation of children at school and youth at church. I will continue to make myself available to those in need and to those for whom my story and history resonate. I will continue to trust that God is far greater and knows far more than I ever could.
So, to all the single people out there thinking about giving up the fight and settling for the one who is just available because you are lonely and tired of being alone - Don't give up! Keep seeking God. Keep trusting His timing; His timing is often not on the same schedule as ours, but He is always on-time. Take this time, while single, and pursue the things that set your heart on fire. Challenge yourself to be a better you with each passing day, to have a heart set firmly in God.
